DaddyRoBlog

Michigan Musings

I’ve decided not to write anything more about megachurches.  Instead I’ll thank God for the different expressions of faith that work for different people, and leave it at that. 

On a different subject entirely, our oldest daughter is now going through Orientation.  There are also tracks for parents, which we’ve been attending. 

I have been particularly impressed with the college’s commitment not just to impart info, but to offer knowledge in the service of compassion in order to better serve the world around us.  I like that very much. 

I also like the way the faculty sees this commitment as naturally flowing into a rigorous academic standard.

Finally, I am very pleased with the commitment of the faculty to the well being of their students, and of their desire to be involved in their lives in such a way as to help them succeed in life in the broadest sense of the word. 

Visiting a Megachurch in Michigan

We are presently in Michigan getting my oldest daughter set up at college.  I had forgotten how beautiful this state is. 

Yesterday we visited Mars Hill, Rob Bell’s church.  I think they probably violate every law of church marketing, which is a great thing in my book.  There are no signs telling you how to get there, no signs even telling you that you’ve arrived.  You basically have to want to get there bad enough to seek it out.

The church itself is in an old mall that I guess they bought.  The only thing that tells you there are there are all the cars pulling into the parking lot.  This is a BIG church—I’d estimate there were several thousand people at the service we attended.

I also liked the set up.  Nothing fancy at all about it.  Didn’t reek of money, which a lot of churches do these days.  No fancy lights, no plush seats, no elaborate staging or expensive attempts to orchestrate experience through creating “atmosphere”.  Just old plastic chairs set around a simple bare bones central platform.  Above it was “the cube”, each side of which was white so that announcements, lyrics of songs, and key points from the message could be projected upon it. 

That said, I am concluding that after years of being fascinated with them, I am not a mega church kind of guy.  That is not to say that I think they are evil or misguided; I don’t.  I think there are things they do exceptionally well, and that there is still plenty to learn from them. 

But I do think there are also certain dynamics at work in megachurches that potentially run counter to what the church is meant to be.  These dynamics can be overcome, perhaps, but a megachurch would have to work hard and be very intentional in doing so (and even then might not be entirely successful, as we shall see).  Since this post is getting long already, I’ll write more about this in the week to come.

Friday Not in the Garden

No garden pictures today--didn't spend any time in the garden.  The day started with a service at Arlington National Cemetery.  Then I came home and spent the rest of the day with my girl.  Tomorrow is Day Zero--we leave to take her to college.

Here is a pic of us  after serving a Thanksgiving meal to hundreds of people in Gulfport, Mississippi following the destruction of Hurricane Katrina.  The man one person to the right of Christine is her grandfather, and the woman at the end of the line is her grandmother.

That trip is just one of the many reasons I am proud of my her and hold her dear in my heart (besides the fact, of course that she is my daughter!)

Hummer in the House

As you can tell from the book in the side bar, I've been doing some reading about Alpha Males.  And as  you might expect, they have some tremendous strengths--and some tremendous potential weaknesses.

It turns out this is also true of Alpha Birds, like this one. We affectionately call him Big Boss Bird, as he has claimed the feeder just outside our dining roomwindow as his own.  He is one bold bird when it comes to chasing  intruders away.

Today, however, his boldness got him into trouble.  He flew into the house, and then up into the sky light which he thought was the way out.  It wasn't.  He exhausted himself up there before willingly perching on a broom I extended to him.  We set the broom out back on the deck and when his strength returned he flew away.

Did he learn humilty to temper his boldness?  Only time will tell! 

(By the way, for those of you who enjoy the hummingbird pics, I put up a new photo album on the side.)

Status Report

Having been in therapy long enough myself, and having counseled enough people over the years, I am keenly aware that there are times in life’s journey when one would do well to ease off the throttle a bit and slow down.  Slowing down allows one to pay more attention to where they are at rather than focusing on getting farther down the road.

Typically, these are times when life is particularly demanding. Wisdom suggests that it would be a good idea to drop the activity level of one’s life in order to free up additional energy for managing his (or her) own emotional wellbeing. 

This fall is one of these times for me.  My oldest daughter is going off to college (15 hours away). Yes, I am tremendously excited for her.  This is what we raised her to do, and I eagerly look forward to the person she will continue to become as she takes this next step in her development.  I have every confidence in her, and am quite pleased with the kind of choices I see her making in her life.  So overall, this is a positive time in life.

At the same time, of course there is a deep grieving that is occurring in my soul, and   I will greatly miss her. With that in mind, I didn’t want to find myself in a place this fall where what is required of me exceeds the personal resources I have available; where what is needed is more than I can give.

But you know what they say about the best laid plans…  It turns out a key staff person that we expected to return after a summer break will be working somewhere else.  I’m not complaining; these things happen.

I’m also not overly worried or stressed out about it; we’ve been through tough times before, and there will be tough times again.  I had a great summer vacation that left me feeling refreshed and revitalized.  I remain excited about the fall. 

But it does present a significant challenge on a number of levels.  For those of you who believe in praying, I’d appreciate it if you’d remember me in your prayers in the next couple weeks.  Thanks!

Why

I thought this picture did a good job of capturing why this is called a ruby throated hummingbird...

7 Days

It hardly seems possible...

This time next week we'll be taking Christine to college. 

Here is a picture of us doing one of the things we do best:  eating! 

Fridays in the Garden

This little guy got his foot caught in the deer fencing.  I let him go a moment later and he flew right away.  Gold finches  are one of those birds that whenever I take the time to really look at them, I am awed by the color.  That was even more the case holding this one in my hand.  What a beautiful bird!

And then, just for the fun of it, here is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Gourd.

Emotional Energy

One of the jobs I remember fondly is building a railroad tie wall.  That was back when we were young and strong and invincible, meaning we could throw a tie over each shoulder, carry them to the desired location,  hoist them in place, and swing a heavy sledge all day.   It was good honest work, and at the end of the day we felt like we had accomplished something.

Tired as we were, though, we’d go home, shower and get a bite to eat, and then be ready to go back out for the evening.

I thought about that last Sunday afternoon when I think I was the most exhausted I have ever been in my life.  I went home after church services and took a nap that lasted all afternoon.  I did get up for an evening meeting at church, but basically went home right afterwards and fell back asleep again.  I was sitting in a chair, and just couldn’t keep my eyes open, couldn’t even move a muscle (at least that is how it felt).  At about 1AM Linda woke me to ask me if I was coming to bed.  Somehow I managed to stumble from the chair to the bed where I went straight back to sleep, in my clothes and on top of the sheets, and didn’t move until morning.

So why was I so exhausted?  I think the output of emotional energy is even more draining than the output of physical energy.  Yes, using one’s body is demanding, but using one’s heart is even more so.  On Sunday afternoon our trip to Belize was over, our Vacation Bible School was over, and church services were over.  All of them were great, but all of them required a great investment of heart and mind and soul.  It wasn’t until that moment that I could really let down.

But maybe there was another component too.  Administering communion that morning, I came to my oldest daughter and realized I would only do this on a regular basis one more Sunday.  It is as strange for me to think of Christine leaving my church family as it is for me to think of her leaving our home.  As you’d expect of a priest, her spiritual life and development mean everything to me.  Now the time is coming when I need to entrust that someone else…

Endings

One of the things I have enjoyed the last few years is having a house full of kids.  I get a kick out of it when my daughters’ friends simply walk in the house without even knocking (they do say hello as they go downstairs), or when we come home to find them downstairs already, playing a video game waiting for my daughters to arrive.   

We are glad that they are comfortable in our home, and have done what we could to make it that way.  We try to keep plenty of the foods and beverages they like on hand (things like Coke and brownies are always a hit). We make extra food for dinner, and they are always welcome at the table with us (and often do).  We resist the urge to complain when they get loud or rowdy and behave like, well—kids!  Still, I think there were a couple times at 2AM in the morning when I asked them to keep it down just a wee bit.

One of these young people is Evan, and we are all very fond of him.  He leaves for college today, and my oldest daughter was very wistful as they said goodbye.   I will admit to feeling much the same.  I’ll miss having Evan around.

And so it begins , this seismic change that will leave the landscape of our lives inalterably changed.