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Because of the distance, our oldest daughter did not come home for Thanksgiving but went to my sister's house in Milwaukee instead. It sounds like she had a great time, and we're grateful she was able to spend the holiday with family.
One of the things she did while there was make, uh, cookies. Should I be worried?
Even if it is only for a visit!
It’s no secret that I’m a cheapskate. That hasn’t always been the case, but as I get older for some reason I’m a lot more reticent to spend money.
Take cars, for instance. When Linda and I were first married, I think we (which should probably read “I”) got a new car every two or three years, including such vehicle as a Nissan Pulsar, a Toyota MR2 and MR2 Turbo, a Mustang GT, Ford Taurus SHO, a Toyota MR2 Turbo, a Subaru Outback, a Volvo 240, a Lexus GS400, and finally our present Honda Accord (which is now 10 years old).
I used to love buying new cars, especially fast ones. I’d then spend even more money modifying them and making them faster still. But no more.
Maybe I’ve just done it enough to know that the pleasure of a new car is relatively short lived but the payments aren’t. Maybe another part of it is that the lifestyle of gross consumption has itself grown old, especially as my eyes have become open to the needs all around me. I don’t feel like a very good human being, and even less a faithful Christian, when my principle mode of being in the world is that of being a consumer.
Still, sometimes being a cheapskate has its drawbacks. Like last night when my 15 year old car broke down. Or this morning when I jumped it and it got it running only to have it break down again on my way to the shop. I was so close to the shop (maybe just a mile to go) that we tried to jump it again, but it wouldn’t go. So I waited another hour for a tow truck to pick me up. Did I mention it was cold?
To get the tow truck, I had to make a phone call. Unfortunately, my cell phone is several years old as well. The LED doesn’t work anymore so I can’t really see what I’m dialing. I accidentally called a friend in Florida thinking I was calling Linda to get the number I needed. Oh well, it was good to talk to him. The phone also doesn’t hold a charge, which meant it died when I tried to use it an hour later but the tow truck still hadn’t shown up (and I saw one drive by three times.)
I think it’s probably time for a new phone. But as to a new car, I’d really rather not. I hope the repairs my old car needs are nothing major and that it keeps running for a long time yet to come.
As hard as it is to believe, we’ve lived in northern Virginia for over 6 years now. That is longer than Linda and I have ever lived anywhere in our adult life. For me, means that I find myself ready for something different; ready to try something new.
I should be quick to add right up front that this is in no way a reflection on my circumstances or anyone in them. This is a great place to be. We are surrounded by great people whom we love dearly (and with my own kids virtually grown, being near my brother and his family is a particular bonus that Linda and I would not soon do without). I would put St. Matthew’s up against any church anywhere in terms of her faithfulness to Christ, so there is no doing any better there.
Mostly, what I feel comes down to wanderlust, pure and simple. The world is such a big place with so many interesting things in it. I’m fascinated by what I don’t yet know and what I’ve not yet experienced, and it has a certain magnetic draw upon me.
So I do find myself feeling unsettled and restless inside. But from what I can tell, those feelings are a distraction right now; a misdirection. What I really feel called to do is stay here and continue the work we’ve begun; to share life with others in a deeper way than is possible if one moves every few years; and to learn to find joy in what are often small, incremental changes rather than bold and dramatic new starts.
It is these for these reasons, and others like them, that I remain committed to life and ministry right here where we are. Yeah, I might find somewhere that isn’t quite as much work, but the truth is that I don’t think I’m really ready for that yet either!
