DaddyRoBlog

Keeping Vows

I’m tired and it’s late so this is going to be short.

I spent some time with a homeless person today.  He asked for a gas voucher and some money for a prescription.   Unfortunately, we don’t have gas vouchers and he couldn’t cash a check, so I gave him cash.

He made a comment about being surprised that I trusted him.  I was going to make a comment like, “Well, if you don’t use for what you said you would, it’s your own loss.”

But then I started thinking about why I wanted to respond like that, like I didn’t really trust him.  I realized I wanted to protect myself from being used or feeling naïve or foolish. 

Maybe he was trustworthy and maybe he wasn’t.   It doesn’t really matter.  The bigger question was whether I would afford him even a little bit of the dignity every human being deserves or not.

“I hope the money helps,” I said.  We shook hands, and he left.

Why Parents Go Gray (or Bald!)

When Christine first got to Bucharest, the youth hostel where they were staying was located directly above a, uh, "club".

Christine did say it made it easy to find her way back at night.  She just looked for the flashing red lights...

Says it All

These things I do despise

Hypocrisy and lies

And anything at all that dims

The light in children’s eyes.

--a poem sent to me by mother after reading last Sunday's sermon.  It really does capture both what I was trying to say and the kind of church that we at St. Matthew's are dedicated to being.

A Proud, Proud Father

I try not to brag too much about my kids...well, I try not to brag at all.  They are a couple of my very favorite people in the whole world, and I am so proud of them that it sometimes brings tears to my eyes, but then I am their father and so probably not the most objective reporter on the matter.

Anyway, if you will permit me just this once...

Here is my daughter's post on a school blog from her trip to Romania.   What a great kid!

http://viatacalvin.blogspot.com/2008_01_01_archive.html

Why I Will Not Be A Saint Any Time Soon...

Today was a long day, but a good day.  We had three services followed by our Annual Meeting (basically a review of the last year, our plans for the coming year, and an opportunity for people to ask questions and provide feedback).    Though I consider myself a poor judge because I am too close to the matter, I felt everything went pretty well and there was a sweet and enthusiastic spirit about the day.

We held the meeting at the local Senior Center, which works well.  When the meeting was over I stayed a bit longer to play cards with three ladies at the facility, which was actually a lot of fun.

On the way home I stopped at Blockbuster to pick up a movie for some mindless vegging out this evening.  There was a long line of people waiting to check out movies.  When I finally got to one of the two registers that were open, the computer froze.   

The clerk asked the guy from the other register to help her out.  He came over and told her to boot up another computer.  At this point I was getting a little tired, so I asked the guy if I could just check out on his computer.  “No,” he said, “I already have a customer”.  Now never mind that this customer had been in line behind me.  I said, “How about if when you are done with that customer, if this computer still hasn’t booted up, then you check me out on yours?”  He looked at me and said, “Remember, patience is a virtue,” and then walked away.

Because  I was still wearing clergy blacks and a collar, I  stood there and stewed, trying not to do or say anything I’d regret later. 

Hope This Never Happens to You

This is one of the most fascinating videos I've ever seen.   I learned quite a bit from it.

You will probably never find yourself in this situation.  But if you have a sense of curiosity that motivates you to seek out new and interesting things, check this video out.

http://www.exn.ca/video/?Video=exn20020325-icewater.asx

I remember once years ago fishing with an older gentleman for sea trout on the Indian River in FL. It was winter, and though the water was by no means frozen,  it was cold. 

Anyway, for some reason I can't remember, we couldn't get the motor on the gentleman's small boat started.  Nobody else was out, it was getting dark, and I think I probably had a meeting to get to.  So I decided to swim the boat (and my fishing partner in it) to the other shore.  I have no idea how far it was--half a mile?  I think it took me about an hour to do it.

When I got out of the water, I was pretty numb.  But what really surpised me was that my stomach felt like a block of ice.  It was like it was radiating intense cold.  It was a bizarre feeling.

Home was only a few minutes away and I think I stood in as hot a shower as I could stand until the hot water ran out.  I was feeling better, but you if you put your hand on my stomach you could still feel the cold.

I put on a bunch of clothes and went to my meeting.

Christine Is Home!

Well, she is back at college.    But she called tonight and we talked a long time and it was absolutely great.

Love it

Check it out.

I guarantee you one of these babies is going in my wallet.

Exploring

One of my goals this year is to do more teaching.

Last weekend, for instance, I did a mini workshop on goal setting.  It wasn’t particularly well attended.  I wasn’t disappointed, though.  I enjoyed the personal interaction a small class afforded.  And I enjoyed synthesizing the information I have read on the matter over the years with my own experience of it in order to create a cohesive, focused presentation.  If it turned out that it wasn’t helpful to anyone else, it was helpful to me.

So now I’m thinking about more stuff I’d like to teach.  I’m also trying to be creative in thinking of new venues and ways to do that teaching to make it available to a wider group of people.

One idea that I have that I’m particularly excited about would be sharing “what I’ve learned…”   For instance, I’m nearing the end of the run in one phase of my life as a parent.  In that time I think I’ve learned a few things that might well be of some use to others for whom that phase has just begun. 

Here is another one.  “What I’ve learned about being a man…”  This is one of those subjects on which I have read extensively (and am still reading).  It’s something I have also given a great deal of thought.   And as I’ve talked with hundreds of men over the years, it’s something with which I’ve had some experience.  Perhaps there might be something worth saying here as well, something that might be helpful to men and maybe even to women alike. 

I don’t really know.  I suppose there is really only one way to find out…

EI and E-mail

Over the years I have had the privilege of being mentored by a number of fine businessmen and women.   

One of the things I remember being taught pertained to the role of a “middle man”.  In business, there will often been a middle man (or woman) to work out lower level details between different parties and thus save their boss time.  So, for instance, an administrative assistant might be responsible for scheduling appointments, making the phone calls necessary to arrange mutually acceptable times for a meeting. 

Sometimes, however, even lower level details get complex.  When this happens, to keep going through a third person wastes everyone’s time.   So the wise manager knows when it is time to pick up the phone, tend to the details herself, and speak directly with the other party.

I was thinking of this today when dealing with a problem that had the very real potential to be complicated and time consuming to hash out via email.  After the first round of email, the other person just picked up the phone and called me.  It simplified the whole process and saved both of us time and aggravation.   I thought when I put the phone down, “Now that is an emotionally intelligent person.”

Email is great, but it is not always an efficient (or desirable) middleman.   There is still a time to actually talk, whether via the phone or perhaps even face to face.